About Me

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CODA, A Mother, A Wife, A Teacher, A Bookworm, An OutDoors Person, An Artist, An Info. Junkie...

Saturday, 27 September 2014

SuperDeafy, Philadelphia Oct. 17th

SuperDeafy will fly to Philadelphia on October 17th...
Buy your tickets NOW! Limit up to 250 seats.

Take A Moment Before You Judge...

Take a moment before you judge ‪#‎behaviour‬

Strong Women Are...

EUD & ENS Hold Seminar In Rome, Oct. 3rd

EUD & ENS (Italian Deaf Association) will hold a seminar in Rome, Italy on 3 October focusing on "Sign Languages in the European Union"

Blue Carpet ASLFlims

About 200 tickets available...buy your ticket ASAP.

If You Are Neutral...


Do not be neutral when it comes to injustice in this world.

That Deaf Guy: "Football Season"

Hello Friends,
It's football season! Here's one in honor of my favorite time of year.
-Enjoy.
Matt and Kay
P.S. We have an awesome NEW book! Yes we do! It is ready for PRE-ORDER! "That Deaf Guy: A Wild Ride" 140 pages of Deaf culture hilarity. Order yours today and get a whole bunch of FREE stuff.www.thatdeafguy.com/store

Mrs.Burgen's Blog Listed Their Top 5 Deaf Role Models

Did you know that this week is Deaf Awareness Week? ASL Nook is listed as one of the five role models on this website below. My heart broke and melted all at once re: comment about how Mrs. Burgen's students rarely see the entire family sign. ASL Nook is glad to spread awareness to Deaf children that there is nothing wrong with signing and their family can learn ASL.

Friday, 26 September 2014

Deaf Man Shot Dead In Front Of Family By Sheriffs In USA

A man who was allegedly deaf since childhood has been shot dead by a sheriff’s deputy in Daytona Beach, USA. Edward P. Miller was with his family, attempting to...
LIMPINGCHICKEN.COM



Authorities have not yet verified if the deputies were aware of Miller's hearing condition.
WWW.ADDICTI

ASL Cabaret

Looking for something to do this Sunday evening? ASL Cabaret is streaming LIVE from LA, with host Bob Hiltermann of Beethovens Nightmare, with featured artist TL Forsberg, and special guest Paul Raci. Tune in FREE and watch from the comforts of your couch or if you live in LA go check it out!!

Helen Keller AFB Website Wants To Hear From You...

We want to hear from you!
Helen Keller worked for the American Foundation for the Blind for more than 40 years. As caretakers of Helen Keller's archival collection and legacy, we are honored to share her history with you, and we value your feedback. If you have a few moments, please take this short survey to let us know more about your interest in Helen Keller, and what kind of information we should be providing, both through this page, and through the AFB website. Thank you for your time!

Never Give Up!

1-10 Stories From Social Media (Lots Of Videos)

Food In ASL By ASL Nook (Video)

Are you hungry for more food or signs? You betcha! Join ASL Nook in picking up signs for different food such as cracker, vegetable, fruit, and many more.
ASLNOOK.COM

Never Lie To Yourself!


Instagram at @jenpastiloff
*
I don’t like to get on the scale.

I don’t even like to weigh my fruit at the market. I just like to guess by how it feels. Same with my body. My clothes. The way they fit and look, the way I feel in my skin. Me and my peaches – I don’t like weighing. Judge me if you want, and I hope you don’t, but you might. Because that’s life, right? Just the other day I got an email about how I had no right to feel the way that I felt (but that’s another blog post I am working on.) The email was judgmental and angry and yes, had nothing to do with me really, but nonetheless, I was the recipient. It landed in my inbox, my eyes ran over it left to right. I know we judge and get judged, so judge me if you want that I have (for the most part) healed from anorexia yet I won’t get on a scale. It is what it is.

And what it is is: a process. We like to think of healing as a neat little package sometimes. There. All done. Stick a bow on it. Give it away and never see it again.

Except it’s not like that with healing. Sometimes things come back. Sometimes they leave remnants and scars. Sometimes they come to visit. Sometimes it’s a daily battle. Sometimes, healing seems miraculous and all that’s left is a memory of a memory of a memory of some distant pain. Those are the lucky.

We are The Healees.

That’s a great word, isn’t it? I just made it up on this sticky summer Friday in August. We’ve got a club of broken hearteds, eating disorders, maybe some alcoholics, widows, lot of injured, divorcees, and on and on. And we are constantly healing. It’s a process. A club with a  revolving door and no president.

***

I had a checkup the other day at the doctor. I’d been dreading it for days. That morning, when I woke up, I had an especially delicious knot in my stomach. The scale.

Going to the doctor meant I had to get on the scale. I thought about the steel geometry of it, how unfeeling it was. How telling. I thought about all of that and wanted to spit my coffee up and get back in bed and cancel my appointment. I’d just demand that I wouldn’t get on it, I decided.

I imagined that they would give me a hard time and I’d finally agree that I’d get on, but that my back had to be facing away from the numbers. And they shouldn’t ask me why, that it’s just a quirk of mine I’d mutter. A remnant from those years with anorexia. I’d lower my eyes with embarrassment and feel like a fraud as I stepped off and into the doctor’s office with its fake frogs on the walls.

***

I was pregnant last fall.

Before I found out it was ectopic I had to visit the obgyn many times, visit after visit, perusing through Your Pregnancy and Fit Pregnancy in the busy waiting room. They kept checking my blood as my hormone levels seemed off. I remember getting on the scale, and then turning away, as usual per my weird phobia. The nurse was short and spoke fast. She said her parents were from Mexico and boy would she kill to have my body and how I didn’t need to turn around but that she got it. She understood.

When I found out that the pregnancy was not going to survive she hugged me. With tears in her eyes, she told me that she’d just had a baby and that she couldn’t even begin to imagine. She was sorry. She was kind.

I thought about how if the pregnancy had been healthy, how I would’ve had to step onto the scale every month. I would have to keep track of how much weight I was gaining. The thought filled me with dread.

As I tried to pull in to the spot there was a woman standing in the street in lieu of a car. I gestured my hand, as if to say, Watch out now love, I don’t want to hurt you. I am sure you didn’t realize that you are standing in the street and in my parking spot.

She mouthed to me (I lip read, being mostly deaf) I am saving it.

My mouth back to hers: Aww, you can’t do that.

(I wondered if her lip reading skills were as good as mine. Probably not. I use this tool to survive in the world.)

She shrugged at me and waved me away.

I inched closer. She didn’t move. She was playing chicken with me.

She obviously didn’t believe that I’d run her over (I wouldn’t) when I slid my car closer, but this was absurd. I mean, was her ghost car driving from Ohio?

I won. I had the car. She had nothing but her cell phone and in this case, it was a clear win. Me.

Why did I get so annoyed?

Well, naturally I wanted to be right.

When choosing to be right or kind, be kind, as Wayne Dyer always says.

I know this. And yet.

I gave myself a free pass. I was crabby and tired and it was raining and I had many excuses, none of which had anything to do with anything, but still they were mine and thus, in my arsenal against this travesty. I pulled in and she went and… hid behind a building.

As she hid behind the building I had an urge to go chat with her and talk it out but realized I was now late for my appointment. I put money in the meter and her friend-with-car still hadn’t showed up.

Please don’t key my car, lady, I thought, as I walked into the doctor promising myself I’d be extra nice to every single person I encountered today to make up for the incident for which I felt not nice and semi-guilty even though I had done nothing except what was in my right as a car-parker.

Inside the doctor’s office, a baby screamed for one hour straight and, due to my vow, I just smiled. In fact, I went over to the toddler and said. “You don’t feel good?”

Kid’s mom or nanny nodded and smiled and the child kicked me.

Finally, after one hour, the nurse called my name. I had two false alarms, when I got up and walked in, only to realize they had been calling Jessica and Justin. My ears.

“Jennifer?”

Finally.

I stiffened and prepared for battle with the nurse who’d hold a gun to my head and make me get on the scale.

“Just so you know, I do not want to get on the scale,” I said, as non-defensively as I could.

“No problem.” Smiles. “Go right into office number nine.”

I realized a couple things, some of which I had been teaching this week in my yoga classes  (I love when that happens!)

I don’t always know what I think I know. Read: All the anxiety I built up around the dumb scale and I got to say if I wanted to or not. I had a choice. We forget that we get to choose. A lot. Including how react to things. What thoughts we are thinking over and over. And over.
We do what we can do. And we try and be better than we were yesterday. Look, I want to be able to get on the scale one day. If and when I get pregnant again, I will most likely have to. I don’t starve myself anymore or exercise 5 hours a day but I have a leftover piece of that unsolvable puzzle of anorexia- I break out in cold sweats at the idea of a scale. I am afraid that if I get on it and I see a number, literally any number, that I will fall down the rabbit hole. I can see that it is absurd but I can also see that I am healthy. Maybe getting on the scale would cause me to want to step on it every day and become a prisoner of a number?

No one can really say what’s best for someone else. I see people at the gym every day weighing themselves. The same people. Emaciated people. My heart beats faster when I walk by them. I can’t say that they shouldn’t be doing that. It works for them (maybe.) Not getting on one works for me. 

Does it mean I am not healed? Dunno. I think I look great. (That feels good to say. Try it.) I don’t want to mess with that thinking. Is it delusional? I don’t think so.

But maybe I am lying to myself? Maybe none of us know how to make it through this thing called life the exact “right” way? I know my limits. Like an alcoholic who knows they can’t take a drink. I don’t like to take scale. Not even a “sip.”

I need to practice non-attachment. I am clear on this. In lots of areas. If I was not attached so much to the idea of what a number would represent then I wouldn’t feel like I was suffering a panic attack when I had to get on a scale. It’s not that I even have a clue about the numbers – I don’t know and I don’t care. I have not looked at a number on a scale in nearly fifteen years.
A scale can’t tell you how much your soul weighs. That sounds kind of woo-woo, I know. But really, think about it, it’s all such bullshit, isn’t it? At the end of the day I care about my heart – did I do good today, am I kind? Not – did I eat a donut?

I’d love to hear your thoughts below. It’s been so nice to meet so many of you when I do my Manifestation Workshops in your cities. Next up is NYC then Dallas, Miami, Vancouver etc. Can’t wait to squeeze YOU. Love, Jen Pastiloff . all on my site www.themanifeststation.net/events/ make sure you are subscribed to the site. xoo

Thanks of course to SimpleReminders.com for their poster. <3

Monday, 22 September 2014

That Deaf Guy's 2nd Book!

Hello friends,
We are getting a lot of inquiries about our new book (Yay!) So we wanted to address them all at once. Our SECOND book "That Deaf Guy: A Wild Ride" is ready for PRE-ORDER! It is the best of our webcomic "That Deaf Guy" from the last two years including never-before-seen deaf culture cartoons from the artist Matt Daigle. It is over 140 pages in full color. It is a high quality book and we are very excited about it.
Our PRE-ORDER packages includes:
*Autographed copy of the new book "A Wild Ride"
*A TDG bookmark (Our bookmarks are the COOLEST)
*A TDG Sticker
*A TDG Do's and Don't mini-poster
*Another TDG special surprise!
These freebies are in limited supply and will only be given to those folks pre-ordering. So RESERVE your "That Deaf Guy: A Wild Ride" package. TODAY! www.thatdeafguy.com/store
P.S We mail to ANYWHERE in the world. Bulk orders of 5 or more receive a discount.

Deaf People Are At Risk Of Losing Their Rich Cultural Heritage

Interview With Strong Deaf Author Lynn E. McElfresh

Saturday, 20 September 2014

Chester's Way -- Storyline Online (ASL & English Video) Read by: Vanessa Marano & Katie Leclerc

Mexico Sign Language Video

Did You Know That The Founder Of The Girl Scouts Was Deaf?

Read below about Juliette Gordon Low!
Juliette Gordon Low, the founder of the Girl Scouts, was deaf. She began losing her hearing as a teen (from a mistreated ear infection) and then became deaf after her wedding.
Her two homes are on historical display in Savannah, GA. Grab a visit while you're here!

Signmark Ft. Adam Tensta "Impossible Is My Thing" (Video)

Good news! A video about Signmark's live show @ Hartwall Areena17.9.2014 is out now! Elämä Lapselle - concert, Lastenklinikoiden Kummit. Thanks to Faruk Nazeri. Enjoy this video and just share this huge video to your friends around the world!   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Fl4i11LOXM

Should There Be A TV Channel Just For Sign Language Users?

You Don't Have To Put Anyone Down...


Photo

Your Clothes In ASL, ASL Nook (Video)

Be Willing To Go Alone Sometimes...


Photo: This is true.

Deaf Characters In Adolescents Literature: No Ordinary Hero

Joel Barish Interview With Sheri Farinha (Video)

That Deaf Guy: "Then & Now"

Hey friends,
Happy TBT! Oh those clunky hearing aids that seemed state of the art at the time. I wonder what hearing aids will look like in another 20 years?
-Enjoy! Matt and Kay
PS Our second book, "That Deaf Guy: A Wild Ride" PRE-ORDER packages are selling FAST! 140+ pages of pure deaf culture humor. Do no miss out. Order yours today! Click here www.thatdeafguy.com/store — with Rachel Kettler Kettler.

Photo: Hey friends,
Happy TBT! Oh those clunky hearing aids that seemed state of the art at the time. I wonder what hearing aids will look like in another 20 years? 
-Enjoy! Matt and Kay 
PS Our second book, "That Deaf Guy: A Wild Ride" PRE-ORDER packages are selling FAST! 140+ pages of pure deaf culture humor. Do no miss out. Order yours today! Click here www.thatdeafguy.com/store

Being Deaf Doesn't Automatically Make You Good At Blocking Out Noisy Situations

Someone Else's Opinion...


Photo: Don't let someone else's opinion of you become your reality. -Les Brown 

The truth is that YOU get to decide what your reality is, not them. xo-Nancy